Nebraska teen celebrates Canada Day by telling friends about his imaginary girlfriend in Windsor, Ontario

Omaha, Nebraska – “I swear she’s real” exclaimed Wyatt Cooper, age 15, of Omaha.  “We met at Disney World last year when her family and my family were at the Magic Kingdom on vacation at the same time.  I even saw her boobs once.   Well, I saw one of them but I think that counts for something”.
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Newly single man re-enters dating world with crate of egg-plants

Windsor, ON – Fresh onto the Windsor dating scene Benjamin Webb, age 56, has begun the task of finding a new girlfriend after a recent divorce following 25 years of marriage.  “Got married when I was 21 and but things haven’t been good for awhile so we split up.  Now I am out here again in the dating world” Webb explained to gathered media on Tuesday.
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May-fly offended at being called a June-bug

Windsor, ON – A May-fly arrived in Windsor this week as part of his species annual convention in Essex County and was shocked when a passerby called him a June-bug. “Seriously it is 2018 people. 2018 and still you’ve a got a segment of society just throwing out names and labels without a thought of how it impacts an insect’s feelings” said Arthur the May-fly as he was stuck to a glass window on Ouellette Avenue on Friday morning.
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