Windsor, ON – A dog living in the east-end of Windsor announced today that he plans to petition the courts for a name change.   When speaking to gathered media the two-year-old canine explained his position “Spot?   Seriously?  I moved in with these people last year and they started calling me Spot.  Why?   Because I have a spot on my fur!  What a stereotype!   How lazy can they be?  After consulting an attorney I feel I have no other option but to pursue this matter through the courts.”

Windsor, ON –  Two minutes into the start of the Super Bowl halftime show Kevin Wilson, age 51, of Windsor realized he was old and somewhat out of touch.  “It came as a complete surprise to me.  I’ve always considered myself kind of a hip guy but I had no idea who The Weeknd was or any of his songs.  In fact leading up to him coming out on stage I thought The Weeknd was probably a group like The Beatles or The Foo Fighters” a downtrodden Wilson said after the game ended.