Leamington, ON – In effort to revitalize tourism in Essex County the Ontario Bureau of Tourism announced plans on Wednesday to re-brand Leamington as the new “Cannabis Capital of Canada”. Leamington has previously been known as the Sun Parlour of Canada and the Tomato Capital Canada but with rapidly expanding marijuana industry taking over the area the Bureau of Tourism felt the time was right for a change.
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Detroit, MI – The meteor that landed in the Detroit area Tuesday night has come forward to ask that it be allowed to enter Canada under the Immigration and Refugee Act. “I honestly thought I was going to land in Leamington but somehow my GPS got me turned around and I landed in Clarkston, Michigan” the meteor said on Thursday.
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Windsor, ON – An exceptionally long pubic hair appeared at a local establishment’s men’s room urinal this past Saturday startling many customers and employees. “It wasn’t there when I started work” bartender, Kyle Banner reported “I would remember seeing something like that”. Investigators estimate the hair was left sometime between 6:00pm and 9:00pm.
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Windsor, ON – The intersection of Walker Road and Ottawa Street somehow repeatedly confuses drivers in the Windsor area. When headed north towards Wyandotte Street while traveling on Walker Road motorists encounter a left-turn lane to Ottawa Street but nearly 30% of drivers proceed straight even though they are in the turning lane.
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