Windsor, ON – Karen Warren of Windsor announced the end of her relationship with Simon Tremblay also of Windsor this weekend due to their inability to text each other in a civil manner. “We text a lot and he just keeps typing LOL instead of HAHA. Everyone knows LOL is so 2005 it is not even worth discussing. I couldn’t take it anymore so I broke things off”.
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Windsor, ON – Mathew Cross who lives in the Fountainbleau subdivision in East Windsor was pleased to announce that he was the first person in Windsor to have his entire house decorated for Christmas this year.   “Last year I waited until Thanksgiving and the new guy who moved in two houses down got his lights up before me. Well, not this year!” Mr. Cross proclaimed to on-lookers at his tree-lighting ceremony on Wednesday evening.
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Windsor, ON – During a recent interview the pot-hole at the corner of Parent Avenue and Tecumseh Road East said he was confident he wouldn’t be filled in this year “I’ve been holding this spot for several years now and I just can’t see how they will get around to filling me in with all the unfinished constructions projects in Windsor.   By the time they get E.C. Row done it will be November.  And I never get filled in once the winter starts”.
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Windsor, ON – Richard Timms of Windsor recently announced his decision to update his dating profile picture for the first time since finishing university in 2004.   “I’ve been on Plenty of Fish, E-Harmony and Christian Mingle for the last decade and have always used my graduation picture from the University of Windsor as my profile picture” said Timms at a recent media conference.
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Windsor, ON – Bongo the Clown, real name Douglas Jameson aged 42, of Windsor, Ontario announced this week that while he has been performing at children’s birthday parties for last 20 years that his real enjoyment comes not from entertaining children but rather from creeping people out.
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