Windsor, ON – “Well it’s happened again! It’s been what six, seven years? But here we go they’re changing the layout of Facebook again” an exasperated Brian Foley exclaimed on Thursday evening.

Windsor, ON – A dog in Windsor is calling out the government for their muzzle-mandate. Identifying himself only as Charlie, the local canine said he was tired of the government infringing on his rights “I shouldn’t have to wear a muzzle if I don’t want too.  The government can’t tell me what to do no matter how much it assists in overall public safety” Charlie announced to gathered media on Wednesday.

Windsor, ON – Since March Chad Lancaster has been unable to participate in his favorite leisure activity of speaking to women in bars in the hopes of finding a new hook-up. “I’ve spent years perfecting my technique” Mr. Lancaster proudly stated to gathered media on Thursday.