Smart phone admits he is actually really stupid

Windsor, ON – A local smartphone revealed on Friday that he isn’t actually all that smart. Dan the Smartphone came forward with the startling revelation that he is just making up most answers he gives.  “When someone asks me what is ten plus ten I answer twenty.  No problem.  But when someone asks what 201 times 840 I just guess at the answer.  No ever asks me to show my work so I’ve gotten away with it for years”.
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Local man doesn’t understand concept of friends-with-benefits

Windsor, ON – Chris Taylor, age 38 of Windsor, has recently discovered the idea of friends-with-benefits but hasn’t quite grasped the concept completely. Mr. Taylor reports that during a weekly get together with his pals over beers last Friday the conversation turned to having friends-with-benefits.   One of Chris’s friends advised he had a friend-with- benefits and was having sex once or twice a week.
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Local man devastated after missing out on limited edition potato chips

Windsor, ON – Carl Anderson, age 48, of Windsor is dealing with feelings of complete despair and devastation after missing an opportunity to purchase a bag of Lay’s Salt & Vinegar flavoured Ruffles. “They haven’t had them out since 2008 and I saw them when I was walking out of Zehr’s last weekend but figured I could buy them this week.   I went back to the store but they were all gone” said the clearly distraught Anderson.
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