City councillor proposes rebuilding Peabody Bridge

Windsor, ON – City councillor Frank Edwards announced his plans this week to submit a proposal to city council to re-build the Peabody Bridge on Riverside Drive at the corner of Riverside Drive East and Devonshire Road.   The original Peabody Bridge, a short overpass of railroad tracks near Hiram Walkers, was demolished in 1992 to allow for multiple lanes of traffic to proceed on the riverfront.
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Date night ruined by girlfriend questioning plot of Road House

Windsor, ON – When Jim Lopez of Windsor got to pick the movie for date night with his girlfriend, Suzanne Travis, his excitement turned to frustration and then sadness as Ms. Travis dissected the storyline and plot and of Patrick Swayze’s 1989 action film Road House. “I had a pizza, snacks and my favourite movie, Road House, on Blu-ray and was so happy but then the movie started and she started with the criticisms” Lopez reported.
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Cranky old guy reinvents himself as an internet troll

Windsor, ON – Clint Richardson, age 63, of Windsor, Ontario who has spent most of the last fifty years complaining about life, politics, religion and those “damn kids that walk across my lawn” to his friends, family and co-workers has recently discovered social media. “I was never interested in those stupid computers and Google and the Facebook but last week I went on the Facebook and discovered an entirely new world where I can rant about anything I want!” Richardson exclaimed while describing his new hobby.
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Irony-based police division towing parking enforcement vehicles

Windsor, ON – A new unit has been established within the Windsor Police force to deal with crimes that are deemed to be ironic in nature.      Staff Sergeant Trent Gill announced on Wednesday that the unit would be diligently tackling irony in Windsor and the related ironic crimes and would be starting with parking enforcement vehicles.
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Six-year-old boy announces new Windsor-Detroit bridge project

Windsor, ON – Jacob Haskins, age six, of Windsor, Ontario announced plans Wednesday morning for a new bridge connecting Canada and the United States that he will be building entirely out of Lego-bricks.  “I’ve seen in the news recently that the Gordie Howe Bridge project will be held up another two or three years and the Moroun family got their go-ahead to begin construction on a twin-span for the Ambassador Bridge so I thought the time was right for me to announce my intentions of building a bridge connecting Windsor and Detroit entirely of Legos” Jacob said at a hastily called news conference.
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