Windsor, ON – Oliver Roberts, age 36, of Windsor thinks some of the worst fall-out from the Covid-19 virus will occur tomorrow, April 1st, on all social media platforms “It will probably start late on March 31st. Everyone will start sharing jokes, memes and bad puns about the virus. I may have to stay off of Facebook for the next few days”.

Windsor, ON – Brian Hawkins, age 44, of Windsor is busy preparing in case of a Corona virus outbreak in the Windsor area. “I’ve already started hoarding toilet paper and hand-sanitizer. To be honest I am not sure why I am hoarding the toilet paper. I think I am maybe supposed to wrap myself in it like a mummy so I don’t touch anything”.

Windsor, ON – A sixteen year old Ford Five Hundred suffered a windshield wiper erection that has lasted more than three hours and wants other automobiles to be aware of the potential dangers of putting additives in your gas tank.

Windsor, ON – A new provincial study released this week shows that Windsor drivers lead the nation when it comes to being unable to tell the difference between a yellow and red traffic signal.  The study released today showed that 41% of Windsor drivers accelerate when they see a yellow light instead of slowing down.

Windsor, ON – Move over Keto and Atkins a popular new diet has emerged on the nutrition scene in 2020, the Cookies & Donuts Diet. The amazing new diet was created by Jason Cooper of Windsor, Ontario “I was reading up over the holidays about all these diet fads and none of them appealed to me so I came up with this” Mr. Cooper announced to gathered media on Thursday.