Windsor, ON – Every year on March 17th when everyone is just a little bit Irish Brad Owens, age 63, of Windsor heads out on a pub crawl to celebrate but due to COVID-19 Mr. Owens 2021 St. Patrick’s Day plans had to be altered. The once-a-year Irishman explained “I’m usually downtown at one of the pubs yelling at Tartan Army to play Danny Boy by noon hour every St. Paddy’s Day but this year I’m at home.”

Windsor, ON – A dog living in the east-end of Windsor announced today that he plans to petition the courts for a name change.   When speaking to gathered media the two-year-old canine explained his position “Spot?   Seriously?  I moved in with these people last year and they started calling me Spot.  Why?   Because I have a spot on my fur!  What a stereotype!   How lazy can they be?  After consulting an attorney I feel I have no other option but to pursue this matter through the courts.”

Windsor, ON –  Two minutes into the start of the Super Bowl halftime show Kevin Wilson, age 51, of Windsor realized he was old and somewhat out of touch.  “It came as a complete surprise to me.  I’ve always considered myself kind of a hip guy but I had no idea who The Weeknd was or any of his songs.  In fact leading up to him coming out on stage I thought The Weeknd was probably a group like The Beatles or The Foo Fighters” a downtrodden Wilson said after the game ended.

Windsor, ON – A garbage dumpster located behind an apartment building on Pillette Avenue on Windsor’s east-end was the scene of a record setting attempt of placing ‘just one more bag’ of garbage on an over-flowing bin.

Windsor, ON – It’s that time of the year when Santa Claus is going to visit the Rose City. Counting down from ten to one here are Santa’s biggest complaints about visiting Windsor…..

Windsor, ON – Robert Manning, age 34, of Windsor, Ontario was surprised to learn this week that he is not a doctor.  “I couldn’t believe it really.   I’ve been dispensing medical advice on Facebook for the last eight months and just assumed I was qualified” Mr. Manning said to gathered media on Friday.