Anti-mask advocate looking forward to picking out a Halloween costume

Windsor, ON – George Preston, age 51, of Windsor, Ontario has been adamant that he should not have to wear a mask to help prevent the spread of COVID-19 because of his mistaken belief that a mask will restrict his oxygen intake but recently announced that he is really looking forward to picking out a new Halloween mask this year. 

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Windsor man concerned over looming dictatorship because of mask-wearing mandate

Windsor, ON – Richard Johnson, age 48, of Windsor says he will not wear a mask when the Health Unit’s mandate that face coverings be worn when entering commercial establishments goes into effect on Friday.  “I refuse to wear a mask.   Where does the government get off telling me to wear a mask?” an angry Johnson said on Thursday.

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Plandemic or Scamdemic local conspiracy theorists at odds over what to call COVID-19

Windsor, ON  –  A rift has occurred in a local Facebook conspiracy theory group with one side labeling the COVID-19 pandemic a ‘Plandemic’ and the other side preferring to call it a ‘Scamdemic’.  “It is clearly a Scamdemic” said Graham Jones the group’s Facebook administrator on a Zoom chat on Tuesday morning.

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Windsor man anxiously looking forward to opening toilet paper purchased in March

Windsor, ON – Peter Brock, age 44, of Windsor announced on his weekly Zoom video-conference with extended family and friends that he would finally be opening the package of toilet paper he purchased on March 11th. “I’m pretty excited about this. My over-reacting and hoarding is finally going to pay off!” Mr. Brock said on Saturday.

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