Jumbo-Cabbage harassed about recent weight gain

Windsor, ON – Sitting quietly in the fruits and vegetables section of a local grocery a Jumbo-Cabbage reports he has gained a significant amount of weight since the summer. “I stopped going to the gym and developed some poor nutritional habits but I thought I could drop the excess weight by getting back into exercising but the results aren’t there so far” the Cabbage said on Wednesday.
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Marijuana jokes in shorty supply one week after legalization

Windsor, ON – Only one week after Canada became the first country to legalize marijuana jokes about weed have stopped appearing on social media. “The first few days were awesome” said local marijuana joke-teller Caleb Richards “the jokes were everywhere.  We had stuff about clouds of weed-smoke covering Canada on weather maps and all the Doritos jokes.  Now there is nothing”.
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