Windsor, ON – David Hanson of Windsor, Ontario proudly announced to his friends last week that he has finished his Christmas shopping early this year. Since that time every conversation, social media update and correspondence completed by the happy shopper has included a reference to his shopping prowess.
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Monthly Archives: November 2016
Third anniversary of the Penis-Bush Bandit fast approaching
Windsor, ON – It has been close to three years since Windsor’s infamous Penis-Bush Bandit has struck and Windsor resident Jeff Morris is hopeful for a return. “I’ve missed seeing my hometown mentioned on Jimmy Kimmel and Steven Colbert’s shows. We were in the news a lot in 2013 for our penis bushes. It was a fun time for Windsor” said Morris lamenting a lack of ridicule directed at the city.
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Windsor man surprised to learn he can’t vote in U.S. election
Windsor, ON – Aaron Rexall of Windsor, Ontario was surprised to learn on Monday that he can’t vote in the U.S. election as he is a Canadian citizen and has never had any affiliation with the United States. “I’ve spent the last year updating my Facebook and Twitter accounts with all my political thoughts and ideas on the U.S. election. I was planning on voting for Donald Trump but a friend told me today that I’m not eligible no matter how many posts I place on social media” said a disappointed Rexall.
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Pro wrestling fan thinks Cleveland Indians manager cost them the World Series
Windsor, ON – Life-long professional wrestling fan, Dennis Grayson of Windsor, Ontario thinks he knows why the Cleveland Indians lost the World Series this week, he believes that the Indians manager, Terry Francona, should have taken a page out of Bobby ‘the Brain’ Heenan’s playbook and distracted the umpire more frequently during the game.
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