Windsor, ON – A group of lawn ornaments in South Windsor are expressing concern that they will be left outside for the rest of 2022.   “I was pretty sure they’d take us down before Easter but here we are on the verge of the month of May and we’re right here on the front lawn” said a clearly distressed Snowman on Saturday.

As bars and nightclubs in Windsor come back to full capacity and live music makes it return to the city several new bands that have formed over the last two years are now planning their first shows. Counting down from ten to one here’s a list of bar band names that aspiring musicians should reconsider using as they just don’t look good on a marquee:

Windsor, ON –  In one of the happiest moments of his life Trevor Buchman, age 38, of Windsor, Ontario proudly displayed his collection of Taco Bell packets to gathered media this week.  “Truly this is one of the proudest moments of my life.  I always ask for and keep extra sauce packets every time I go thru the drive-thru.  I’ve got them all, Taco Bell, Arby’s, Wendy’s and now that there are supply chain issues and mild-flavoured taco sauce isn’t available I am the only one with inventory” Mr. Buchman announced on Tuesday.

Windsor, ON – A grizzly scene unfolded in downtown Windsor this week when a couch was discovered lifeless on the side of the road near the downtown bus station.  “It’s troubling to see this kind of thing in the middle of downtown” commented a Lazy Boy recliner who did not want to give his name.

Windsor, ON – On a recent Zoom video-conference call with his co-workers Kyle Brooks, age 58, of Windsor attempted to make what he thought was a clever reference to Coles Notes which seemed to baffle his younger colleagues.

Windsor, ON – A boat tucked away on a driveway in east Windsor speculated this past weekend that it may not get in the water this year.   “It’s coming up on October and I have been parked in this driveway since August, 2020.   I’m starting to think I’m not going into a river or lake this year” the boat remarked on Sunday afternoon.