Windsor, ON – A grizzly scene unfolded in downtown Windsor this week when a couch was discovered lifeless on the side of the road near the downtown bus station.  “It’s troubling to see this kind of thing in the middle of downtown” commented a Lazy Boy recliner who did not want to give his name.

A coffee-table that knew the couch personally said the couch had been going through a rough time recently “I don’t want to speak ill of the departed but the couch was hanging out with some pretty sketchy characters lately.   To be honest anyone who wanted too could walk right up and have a seat.”

Authorities aren’t sure if this is an isolated incident or not but a spokesperson from the local Preservation of Fine Furniture Society released the following statement “Sadly we have seen this kind of thing before.  It can come in waves particularly with couches and mattresses.   They seem to be targeted the most when it comes to this kind of thing.   I’d just advise all furniture to remain vigilant and not to be lured to a street corner or alleyway after dark”.