Windsor, ON – Ashley Helms of Windsor is not having a very good Christmas season. For the past six years Ashley and a group of friends have exchanged Christmas gifts with one another. This year Ashley has been left holding the bag on the one present that has been re-gifted for the last five years. The Navage.
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Windsor, ON – Fred Lamont of Windsor has gone on an 18 month dry spell. Despite his best efforts on E-Harmony, Match.com and Plenty of Fish Mr. Lamont has been unable to consummate a relationship with a new lady friend. At a press conference this week the would-be-Romeo announced that he was now abstaining from sex.
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Windsor, ON – Windsor City Councilman Frank Edwards has come up with what he describes as the perfect solution to the controversy over the Pelissier Street parking garage. “I’m putting forward a proposal to move the parking garage over to the Windsor Family Credit Union Centre parking lot. Brick by brick, spot by spot, we’ll move the entire garage over to the WFCU Centre” said a beaming councilman on Thursday.
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Windsor, ON – In addition to the parking spaces being added on the ground floor of the Pelissier Street parking structure City Council approved a plan this week to add 28000 more spots in the downtown core. Councilman Frank Edwards made the official announcement on Thursday at City Hall “Our goal is to one day have a parking spot available downtown for every car that is licensed in Windsor”.
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Windsor, ON – David Hanson of Windsor, Ontario proudly announced to his friends last week that he has finished his Christmas shopping early this year. Since that time every conversation, social media update and correspondence completed by the happy shopper has included a reference to his shopping prowess.
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Windsor, ON – It has been close to three years since Windsor’s infamous Penis-Bush Bandit has struck and Windsor resident Jeff Morris is hopeful for a return. “I’ve missed seeing my hometown mentioned on Jimmy Kimmel and Steven Colbert’s shows. We were in the news a lot in 2013 for our penis bushes. It was a fun time for Windsor” said Morris lamenting a lack of ridicule directed at the city.
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