Windsor, ON – During a recent interview the E.C. Row Expressway said it was tired of annual construction. “How would you like an invasive surgery completed on you every summer?” the roadway asked. “It is very frustrating, down to one lane, slow-downs, it takes a toll after a while”.
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(photo: Google Maps)
Windsor, ON – An operation is underway in an effort to rescue Arms Bumanlag who has been trapped on the rooftop of the CTV-Bell Building giving weather reports for the last several years. CTV News Windsor moved to the building at the end of 2013 and weather reporter Arms Bumanlag has been trapped on the roof forced to update the viewing audience on the daily weather situation for the better part of three years now.
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Windsor, ON – Due to a lack of available area codes in North America the Wynne government unveiled a plan this week to help balance the Ontario budget by selling the 519 area code to the state of California. California has run out of available cell numbers and made the offer this past week to purchase 519 from Ontario.
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Local man Edwin Hall, aged 49, who hasn’t dated in two years recently struck gold on Christian Mingle and purchased condoms for the first time in 24 months.
Mr. Hall reported that he has created profiles on most every website dating service “Match, OK Cupid, E-Harmony, Lava-Life and Christian Mingle. You name it I’ve tried it” he said during a recent trip to Shoppers Drug Mart to purchase condoms. “It’s a one in a million shot really” he reported when describing his internet chat with what appears to be the only promiscuous girl on the Christine Mingle website. Having been single since the summer of 2014 he has no need for condoms and was looking forward to the purchase.
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Avid Windsor Star reader and regular Windsor Star website visitor, Odell Lesperance, has managed to post a comment on at least one Windsor Star story for 400 straight days. “I really enjoy it” said Lesperance adding “since they added Facebook comments it is really easy to get my opinions out there”.
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Local man, Brad McKelvie, was quoted this week as saying he is going to spend his summer researching on-line for clues as to who Negan killed in last season’s cliff-hanger episode of The Walking Dead in an effort to spoil the show for his friends.
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