Windsor, ON – A local dog who goes by the name Archie was relieved to hear the news this week that his owner who he identified as a woman named Sharon was returning to her job. “Thank, God! I’ve been locked up with this woman for the better part of three months and I was at my breaking point.”

Archie elaborated on his ordeal “At first it was nice she was around the house more. We’d go for walks and watch Netflix but I really don’t know why you people got so excited about Tiger King. I lost interest after one episode. Anyway it was good for a week or two then she just wouldn’t leave me alone. She was always underfoot and seriously how many pictures of me was she going to post on Instagram? If we did one more nature photo-shoot I was ready to call the Humane Society and report her for animal abuse.”

Now that Sharon is returning to work Archie plans to relax and try and get back to a normal routine. Archie also made a plea for some assistance from the public “Can someone help me find this woman a boyfriend before the next pandemic? I don’t think I can take another quarantine with her on my own.”