Windsor, ON – Darren Holmes, aged 38, of Windsor, Ontario is the recipient of the 2016 Most Annoying Person in the World competition. Entrants were nominated from around the globe including politicians, entertainers, people from everyday walks-of-life and even one Kardashian. Mr. Holmes won out with a late surge of annoying behaviour leading up to the final vote.
During his acceptance speech Holmes gushed “I’ve been working so hard at being annoying it feels so good to win it all. I’d like to thank God but I really don’t think we have the same God as my God is better than yours”. Holmes has been perfecting his annoying habits for years and it all came together in 2016 for the Windsorite. “It started out rather innocently I just started sending emails and Facebook updates but I typed them in ALL-CAPS. That really got the ball rolling” advised Holmes. Mr. Holmes next annoyance was to regularly take up two spots when parking his car at the mall. “I enjoy seeing the looks on people’s faces when then can’t get a spot because I took up more than one space” Holmes stated proudly.
From there Mr. Holmes worked his way up the annoying scale. “Of course I stepped up to the bigger annoyances like talking in a movie theater and then I moved on to checking my emails during the movie and I have a very bright cell phone screen. And of course my go-to move of repeatedly asking people to stand-up so I can get out of the row to go to the concession stand” boasted the proud winner.
Concerned about his chances of winning late last week Holmes made one final push and started going to Hospital Emergency Waiting Rooms complaining of a sore thumb but would then proceed to speak to everyone in the waiting room about his thumb, his recent proctologist appointment, food in his fridge that was past the expiry date and spoilers for the recent movies he had seen.
Mr. Holmes plans to celebrate by going out to his favourite restaurant and sending the food back several times throughout the course of his meal.