Windsor, ON – Swimming Canada announced today that the Windsor International Aquatic Centre would be prohibited from hosting events after a recent shark sighting in the pool. “We understand the city is working on the previously identified problem with the currents in the outer lanes but the shark issue will also need to be addressed” said spokesperson Catherine Mead.
City Councilman Frank Edwards announced that the city had a plan in place to capture or kill the shark. “We’ve contacted a Dr. Hooper at the Oceanic Institute who is a leader in his field in regards to the habits and behaviours of sharks and we are confident he and his team will be able to bring this situation to a quick resolution”. He added “I just can’t figure out how we missed preventing sharks from getting into the pool when we designed the Aquatic Centre”.
Local fisherman Bartholomew Quint has also offered his services but has yet to hear back from the city. “They spend money on all sorts of crazy projects in Windsor but when it comes to keeping sharks out of city pools they never seem to have money in the budget. And I am not asking for that much in the bigger scheme of things. $10,000 for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing”.