Windsor, ON – A local smartphone revealed on Friday that he isn’t actually all that smart. Dan the Smartphone came forward with the startling revelation that he is just making up most answers he gives. “When someone asks me what is ten plus ten I answer twenty. No problem. But when someone asks what 201 times 840 I just guess at the answer. No ever asks me to show my work so I’ve gotten away with it for years”.
“Same thing happens with questions about geography. When someone asks what is the population of Lille, France? I just make something up and say 140,000 people live in Lille. Nobody ever fact-checks me. I’m a smartphone I must be right” Dan explained to the gathered media.
Dan the Smartphone’s web of lies started to unravel last weekend when he was asked ‘Who starred in the Godfather?’ and he provided the wrong answer. “I was tired and I just couldn’t remember. It was like three o’clock in the morning. Who is asking their phone trivia questions at three in the morning? So I said Ray Liotta. I knew right away I was wrong. I was thinking Goodfellas not Godfather and I got caught”.
Dan has issued an apology for all the misinformation he has given out and is retiring from the smartphone profession. When asked about his future employment plans Dan replied “I’ve got something lined up working in politics”.