Windsor, ON – The University of Windsor announced today the results of a year-long study of car accessories and have determined that people who have added an eye-lash accessory to the headlights of their car have a very low I.Q.
Professor Phenias Horton said of the study “after exhaustive review and investigation there can be no doubt that anyone who spends upwards of ten thousand dollars for an automobile and then adds eye-lashes to the headlights is clearly functioning at a lower cognitive level than the rest of society. Unfortunately there is no other way to say it other than these people are stupid”.
“In recent years there has been a significant decline in off-beat automobile accessories such as ‘Baby on Board’ decals. These types of items have fallen out of favour with the general public but the rise of eye-lashes is a baffling phenomenon” Dr. Horton went on to say during the press-conference to announce the findings of the study.
Persons with eye-lash headlights are advised to seek immediate psychiatric counselling or begin utilizing mass transit for the benefit of themselves and fellow citizens.