Windsor, ON – “Well it’s happened again! It’s been what six, seven years? But here we go they’re changing the layout of Facebook again” an exasperated Brian Foley exclaimed on Thursday evening.

Windsor, ON – A dog in Windsor is calling out the government for their muzzle-mandate. Identifying himself only as Charlie, the local canine said he was tired of the government infringing on his rights “I shouldn’t have to wear a muzzle if I don’t want too.  The government can’t tell me what to do no matter how much it assists in overall public safety” Charlie announced to gathered media on Wednesday.

Windsor, ON – Since March Chad Lancaster has been unable to participate in his favorite leisure activity of speaking to women in bars in the hopes of finding a new hook-up. “I’ve spent years perfecting my technique” Mr. Lancaster proudly stated to gathered media on Thursday.

Windsor, ON – You’ve heard of the Dirty Sanchez, the Twitter-Bang and the Pearl Necklace but did you know that Windsor, Ontario is home to several unique sexual positions? Counting down from 10 to 1 here’s the Top Ten Sexual Positions from Windsor, Ontario.

Windsor, ON – George Preston, age 51, of Windsor, Ontario has been adamant that he should not have to wear a mask to help prevent the spread of COVID-19 because of his mistaken belief that a mask will restrict his oxygen intake but recently announced that he is really looking forward to picking out a new Halloween mask this year. 

Windsor, ON – Richard Johnson, age 48, of Windsor says he will not wear a mask when the Health Unit’s mandate that face coverings be worn when entering commercial establishments goes into effect on Friday.  “I refuse to wear a mask.   Where does the government get off telling me to wear a mask?” an angry Johnson said on Thursday.