Windsor, ON – A split second decision provided a local man, Jack Briscoe age 45 of Windsor, a five-minute time-savings along with a rapturous thrill on Thursday evening when he picked the quicker of two drive-thru lanes at McDonalds.

Windsor, ON – Nick Henderson, age 48 of Windsor, has had the same disappointment every day when returning home from work since June 2^nd that being he has not received a voice mail message from Premier Doug Ford.  “I don’t get it.   He called me three times before the election.   Left me a very nice voice mail message each time and told me I was his friend and now nothing” an agitated Mr. Henderson reported on Tuesday.

Windsor, ON – A group of lawn ornaments in South Windsor are expressing concern that they will be left outside for the rest of 2022.   “I was pretty sure they’d take us down before Easter but here we are on the verge of the month of May and we’re right here on the front lawn” said a clearly distressed Snowman on Saturday.

As bars and nightclubs in Windsor come back to full capacity and live music makes it return to the city several new bands that have formed over the last two years are now planning their first shows. Counting down from ten to one here’s a list of bar band names that aspiring musicians should reconsider using as they just don’t look good on a marquee:

Windsor, ON –  In one of the happiest moments of his life Trevor Buchman, age 38, of Windsor, Ontario proudly displayed his collection of Taco Bell packets to gathered media this week.  “Truly this is one of the proudest moments of my life.  I always ask for and keep extra sauce packets every time I go thru the drive-thru.  I’ve got them all, Taco Bell, Arby’s, Wendy’s and now that there are supply chain issues and mild-flavoured taco sauce isn’t available I am the only one with inventory” Mr. Buchman announced on Tuesday.

Windsor, ON – A grizzly scene unfolded in downtown Windsor this week when a couch was discovered lifeless on the side of the road near the downtown bus station.  “It’s troubling to see this kind of thing in the middle of downtown” commented a Lazy Boy recliner who did not want to give his name.