New yellow car spoils man’s stalking plans


Windsor, ON – Jared Burnett of Windsor recently purchased a new-used car without realizing it would ruin his stalking activities. Mr. Burnett had been regularly stalking two former acquaintances over for the last eighteen months.

Said Burnett “I really liked the colour of the car and I wasn’t thinking how it might be a detriment to my stalking. The first night I had the car I was spotted down the street from both of their houses”. With restraining orders already in place Mr. Burnett retreated to his local pub but after parking his new yellow car out front of the establishment two friends stopped in when they saw his vehicle. “It’s a nightmare” said Burnett. “It’s like I have the bat-signal on my car. Almost two years of meticulous stalking down the drain”.

When asked about possibly cyber-stalking as a new hobby Mr. Burnett relented “I am pretty old school when it comes to stalking but I guess I have no choice but to start cyber-stalking”. Mr. Burnett finished the interview by asking everyone in the room for their Twitter handles and was busy sending random friend requests on Facebook.