Comments section of Windsor Star yields solution to all of mankind’s problems


Windsor, ON – A recent study by the University of Windsor has found that all the mysteries and problems of the world have already been solved inside the comments section of the Windsor Star. A steady stream of regular posters to the comments section of the newspaper have literally reviewed, commented on and actually solved all of the world’s problems with their Facebook posts.

Said regular commenter to the Windsor Star’s website Ken Matheson of Windsor “I knew if I commented on enough stories I’d eventually trip over the solution to some big problem. It was just a matter of time. I post on about 10 stories a day six times a week so I’m glad I have contributed to the problem-solving”. Diane Davidson also of Windsor added “When you think about all the comments I have made about crime, politics, taxes and city planning you had to know I’d say something insightful sooner or later”.

The comprehensive study concluded that most of the world’s problems can be attributed to former mayor Eddie Francis, potholes, being located close to the city of Detroit, traffic on the E.C. Row Expressway and Tim Horton’s roll-up-the-rim cups. “After discovering the pattern of where all the issues originated in the first place we are now using a complex calculation that allows us to implement solutions to all the world’s problems. Thank God for these wonderful Windsor Star commenters for saving us all” said Professor Frank Steen of the University of Windsor when announcing the findings of the study on Wednesday.