Windsor, ON – Dave Richards of Windsor opened a portal to an alternate dimension this past week while attempting to put together his new book-shelf that he purchased from IKEA. “I really don’t know how it happened. I was following the instructions the best I could. They said it would take approximately 60 minutes to build the book-shelf but after about 3 hours the portal to the other dimension opened in my living room” said a stunned Richards.
“I’m stuck with this glowing portal now. I took a quick look through to the other side and didn’t see much but am pretty sure I caught a glimpse of some sort of demon. Not sure if it was the IKEA instructions or just a coincidence but I think the demon had a Swedish accent. So I didn’t stick my head back through the portal a second time” Mr. Richards said while staring a mounting pile of books that he had hoped to place on his new book-shelf.
Mr. Richards went on to describe how the portal opened “I was using that funky Allen-key and I think I turned it clockwise when I should have turned it counter-clockwise and this portal just popped open near the coffee table”. Mr. Richards advised that he has phoned customer support at IKEA and is hoping that the warranty on his book-shelf might help clear up the matter “and the most frustrating thing? I’ve got 8 little plastic caps left over and no idea where they go”.