Omaha, Nebraska – “I swear she’s real” exclaimed Wyatt Cooper, age 15, of Omaha. “We met at Disney World last year when her family and my family were at the Magic Kingdom on vacation at the same time. I even saw her boobs once. Well, I saw one of them but I think that counts for something”.
Mr. Cooper has been having trouble explaining his supposed girlfriend to his family and friends in Nebraska. “She’s very busy. She lives in Windsor, Ontario which is right beside Detroit and she has a job after school at her Dad’s maple syrup company and she ice skates on weekends so that’s why I don’t talk to her much but I text her all the time”.
While not being able to produce a text message as evidence as his phone recently ‘broke’ the Nebraskan Romeo says he stills plans to call his girlfriend to wish her a happy Canada Day later on this evening “She’s out with her family for their annual moose ride but she’ll be home later on tonight after their pick-up some crullers at the Tim Horton’s for dinner”.